4 Ways to Ask a Girl Out

Want to know how to ask a girl out? Looking for advice? Look to none other than me. My dating life has been...

1. Tell her "ur hot" 

When I was in 4th grade I had a crush on a girl. Not knowing the best way to express that feeling, I turned to my school's messaging system (it was called Pegasus Mail in case you were wondering). Taking the advice of my best friend (also a 4th grader), I sent her the message "ur hot". She was so swept off her feet that she couldn't even respond. She left the school later that year. Probably because she was so swept of her feet and stuff. 

2. Ask Her Out And Immediately Say "Just Kidding"

Time to take a brief lesson from my 6th grade self. I liked this girl and figured I would ask her out to the school dance. I finally worked up my courage and did just that. Except when she paused for like 2 seconds after I asked her, my natural response was to say "JUST KIDDING!" and then run away. Did she later go to the school dance with me? Yes, but only after I said that I was "just kidding" about the whole "JUST KIDDING" thing. So all in all, I think I played it pretty smooth. 

3. Have a Friend Do It for You

Nothing inspires confidence in a woman like you asking her out in a roundabout, indirect way. However, if you're in 5th grade, this is a total player-move. But if you do choose this method, be ready for her to break up with you in a folded up note. That she left in your locker. And then she told your best friend Tyler that she left a note in your locker and you got really excited because you thought it was probably a love letter but instead it was a break up letter. But it's ok because it still smelled like her. 

4. Send a Creepy Facebook Message When You're 21

Tired of all these stories from my childhood? Ready for the big-boy way to do things? Take notes gentlemen. 

Let's say you had a crush on that cute girl in your class a couple semesters ago. Well, if you pass her in the hall and she says "Hi" and then keeps walking away, she's definitely in to you. So, what you need to do is look her up on Facebook, friend request her and then an hour after she accepts your request (remember, let an hour pass so you don't seem creepy), go ahead and message her and ask her out. It's ok if you're 21 years old. Just look at me. I used this method just a few weeks ago and she was so taken by the message that she's still trying to think of the best way to say "yes". I mean it's been 3 weeks so I'm thinking she's coming up with something really cool.