4 Easy Ways To Impress Women

Based on my last post about how to ask girls out, I feel pretty qualified to tell you how to impress women.

1. Shove Carrots Up Your Nose

So when you're in 4th grade, this is the best method for getting all the ladies. Because, evolutionarily speaking, a male who can shove carrots up his nose and then...consume said carrots...is just biologically a more suitable match. I mean...SCIENCE.
(Let the reader note that this is not real science).

2. Kiss Random Objects

If you're in 1st grade, the best way to show that you're the cool guy (who deserves to be with all the cool ladies), you should kiss things like tables and walls. Not girls. That would be stupid.
I mean, what girl is going to kiss you if you don't show off your kissing skills on tables and walls first?

3. Flex When You Pick Up Your Backpack

Let's be real. Backpacks can get pretty heavy, especially in high school. So what's the best way to show women that you've got great big cool guy muscles? Take a little extra time when you're picking up that back pack to show off the old biceps.

Except if the backpack is too heavy. Make sure it's not too heavy to lift.

4. Tell Her She Has "Nice Horselegs"

I got the idea for this stellar compliment back in elementary school. I was looking at a yearbook and there was a picture of a girl kicking a soccer ball, kind of like my girl Hope Solo here.

I was like: man--look at those defined legs. They remind me of...

horsebreedsinfo.org

I mean...that makes sense right?

So why wouldn't a girl want to hear that her legs resemble those of a horse? So I told a high school friend of mine, "You know what? You've got nice legs....They're like...horse legs." I thought it went over pretty well. Turns out, girls don't ever get offended when you compare them to an animal that weighs 1000 pounds. 

So there you have it! These are all tried and true methods sure to impress women. 

TRY THEM NOW.